Youre Not Gonna Get Me Again
When I starting time started learning game, I call up how infuriating information technology was.
I thought I was doing everything correctly! I was following all of the advice that other men gave me, merely for some reason, itjust didn't seem to work.
I'm sure you know what I'grand talking most. It'southward that feeling of hopelessness, where you're just wondering if you should give up. Is something wrong with you? Maybe, but most likely not.
Almost likely, you're merely making one of these v critical errors, any of which will preclude yous from getting laid.
1. You're Besides Upshot Dependent
"Hold on, Jon—you're saying that caring TOO MUCH almost sex tin stop me from getting laid? Isn't your notch count in the triple digits, though?"
Aye, and yep. I know information technology may seem contradictory, simply bear with me for a second…it will all make sense very soon. See, while well-nigh men only care virtually sex, women are a lilliputian bit different.
Men are primarily attracted to visual cues—in other words, a woman's appearance turns us on. Obviously there's other factors that come up into play, like her feminine energy, her personality, and everything else, but men care a lot about how a daughter looks.
Women, on the other mitt, care more than about a man'south Image…big difference. They care about WHO he is, more so than WHAT he looks like. They care about the connectedness that they take with a man. They care nearly whether or not they experience condom with him.
They want to know if he'due south confident or non, they want to know what his fears are…they desire to know WHO HE IS. So if y'all merely e'er endeavor to have sexual activity with a adult female, without engaging in any sort of meaningful conversation, yous probably won't get laid as much as you like.
Sure, y'all'll get laid a adept amount. Hell, when I first started learning game I only showed women my sexual side. I didn't talk much, I wasn't very vulnerable, and I was extremely sexually assertive…and it worked, to an extent.
But I've found that balancing BOTH my want to have sex, AND my desire to limited myself and figure out whether or not she's a adult female I'm interested in emotionally has yielded much better results. I could write an unabridged post on this, and perchance I will, but for now, have the tip for what it is.
2. You lot Don't Approach Enough Women
Back in the early 2000'south when the PUA customs get-go emerged, guys used to have this thing called the "batting average." It was basically the ratio of women you talked to vs. women you concluded up having sex with.
…and it was 1 of the dumbest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. Why? Well, for many reasons, only primarily because it ignores one fundamental principle of game.
Getting laid is a numbers game, manifestly and unproblematic. You lot will have to approach literally thousands of women before y'all starting time to get practiced at this.
So by hiding behind a "batting average," guys were able to mask their fright. "Haha, losers, my batting average is 1.0! I've never struck out!" some guy would say. Merely what this doesn't reveal, is that he just always had sex with one girl in his unabridged life.
I don't know about you, merely I'd rather have a batting boilerplate of .001, but sleep with 1 new girl a calendar week. Who cares how many girls you lot have to talk to? Not every daughter is going to be interested in you, and you shouldn't Desire them all to be interested in you.
Some girls are vain, some are shallow, some are just plain stupid. You lot want to find the 'foam of the crop,' and you do this by talking to TONS of women, until yous notice the ones that you take chemical science with.
When y'all leave and practice your game, you should exist rapid-fire approaching women. Talk to the first girl you meet. Doesn't work out? Cool, motility to the next 1. She hates you? Cool, move to the next one. Do this until you find i that you like.
This is how you overcome arroyo anxiety, it'south how y'all acuminate your social skills, and it'due south how y'all get laid.
3. Your Lifestyle Sucks
When I first got into game, I relied pretty much entirely on cold approach pickup to get new lays. I'd get out during the night and during the mean solar day, and just strike up conversations with random girls and get their numbers.
Later on a while, however, I realized that I was missing out on one of the biggest goldmines when it comes to getting girls—your lifestyle.
I don't care how good looking you are, how much money you make, or how much game you have…if you're employed in the middle of Alaska doing It piece of work, or if yous're on a billet in Iraq somewhere, y'all will not be getting laid.
That ugly, fat guy, who's kind of weird, simply that works as a bartender in Las Vegas, though? He'll exist getting more ass than you can imagine. Ever call back this, boys: women are attracted to men who live fun, adventurous, exciting lifestyles.
Fill your life with cool hobbies that you savor. Acquire how to DJ, commencement playing the guitar and performing in local coffee shops, become some friends who yous love to go dirt biking with, or become a bungee jumping instructor. It doesn't really thing—only fill your life with fun stuff, and the women will come.
In fact, I wrote a whole article on how to build an attractive lifestyle, because it'southward justthat important. Not just volition it get new women coming into your life, but it'due south also great for keeping them coming dorsum…which brings me to my next betoken.
iv. Your Retention Rate is Too Depression
Having a constant trickle of new girls into your life is merely every bit important every bitretaining the good ones.You don't want to ever exist coming together new girls, sometimes you want to cultivate relationships with existing girls.
It took me FOREVER to learn how to practice this, because I had a actually difficult fourth dimension beingness emotionally vulnerable with women. But, once I started opening up, and developing deeper connections with women, I plant that they started sticking around more.
Ideally you want to have a stream of new leads coming in each week, and so you tin can choose your favorite girls to continue hanging out with.
Think of it like this. I aim to sleep with 2-3 new girls a week, and usually do, but I withal have a solid 4-five girls that I actually like sleeping with and hanging out with. They're the girls that volition come cook me breakfast, come watch a film with me, become to the gym with me, or just come talk.
This way, you lot never get too deprived of sexual activity or besides lonely, and you get the best of both worlds—tons of sex, but also more than intimate connections. If you're just starting off with game, don't worry about this one as much yet, but if you've been at it for a year or so, this is definitely something to consider.
Create a "rotation," of cool girls that you enjoy spending time with, and pepper in some new ones, too. Some of the solid girls who you usually hang out with may flake, they may get a beau, or they may terminate being interested in you…that's fine, and information technology's why you lot need a constant trickle of new women to supercede them.
v. Your Identity is Too Weak
Women want a man who has a firm sense of self. They want a man who knows who he is, on a very deep level, and won't change his opinions, personality, or feelings for anyone else.
When a human lacks integrity, and is quack through his actions and words, women become extremely turned off, because they sense that he's flaky. They sense that he's flimsy and that he doesn't really stand for annihilation.
This is why women will often test men—they want to encounter if you're coinciding to who y'all are. Do you act confident? Prepare to have women test you to come across simply how confident you are.
When women say that they hate "overnice guys," what they actually mean is they detest men who just agree for the sake of like-minded. They want a homo with a stone-solid frame, who doesn't change himself but to fit in or be liked.
As an instance, I voted for Donald Trump in the American election of 2016. I take Trump stickers around my house, and sometimes when I have women come over, they'll notice them. Some girls like information technology, but many are shocked.
"Oh my God, how could you lot vote for Donald Trump?! Did you ACTUALLY?!" they'll ask. Nigh guys would shy away, and sheepishly prevarication almost how "information technology's a joke," or something like that. I don't, though. I'one thousand very upfront well-nigh my political opinions, and even if women vehemently disagree with them, they usually terminate upwards being even more attracted to me.
Why? Once again, considering they sense I'm merely beingnesswho the fuck I am.I'm non bullshitting them, I'yard not lying, and I'1000 not manipulating. I take a very house sense of identity, and they tin appreciate information technology—that's what women mean when they say "just be yourself."
They don't mean be a nice guy pushover, they mean be confident in who yous are. Own your opinions, own your beliefs, own your emotions, and own your identity.
Source: https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/5-reasons-youre-not-getting-laid-right-now/
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